I love comic book movies, superhero movies, Marvel movies. Seriously, I adore them. At least half of them are utterly ridiculous but most of them are just so much fun. And Sony coming up with their very own Marvelverse full of Spider-Man villains? Oh yes please! And then, after what felt like a ridiculous amount of rescheduling even for a pandemic movie, Morbius was finally released and my brother and I went to see it. And … it was an experience.
If you don’t like movies this is the movie for you. Leto out of ten.My brother, not a fan.
The entire thing was, essentially, a train wreck. Jared Leto gave me early 00s Underworld sequel vibes, Matt Smith was essentially the only good thing and even he was struggling, and everybody else felt entirely irrelevant to the movie. There is no plot, there is no depth to any characters (Morbius‘ entire arc is „from sick boy to vampire“ with zero background) and half of the movie felt like it had been rewritten and rearranged and recut so often that any sense of coherence it might have once had, had surely perished long ago.
I cannot remember the names of any characters who weren’t the titular character or played by Matt Smith and of the three named female roles that I remember, one was a sick child to highlight the injustice and destruction of innocence wrought by that weird disease and motivate Morbius, one was a nurse who got killed to make Morbius doubt himself and show of Milo’s lack of morals and the last one was the main love interest and probably should have been important but really could just as easily have been a sexy lamp.
I texted some great observations about the movie to my best friend, who – for some unfathomable reason – seemed glad she hadn’t come with us, but it essentially boils down to: This movie was absolute and utter trash and the only reason why it got 2 stars was because it was trash in a somehow also kinda hilarious way and it didn’t make me nearly as angry as Matrix Resurrections did.
If you want to read the full summery I sent my friend on my way back from the movies, just click the pictures to enlarge them! And, please, ignore any and all grammar and spelling errors (and there are plenty for you to find).