The 355 – choices were made but maybe not the right ones

USA, 2021 | 124′ | FSK 16 | Action | 🖤🖤

OT: The 355
Regie: Simon Kinberg
Mit: Jessica Chastain, Penélope Cruz, Fan Bingbing, Diane Kruger, Lupita Nyong’o, Édgar Ramírez, Sebastian Stan

For some reason (*cough*), The 355 was the first movie this year that really highlighted the fact that not all movies get shown as OV around here. We saw the trailer in several movie theatres, mostly in English, only one theatre showed the German version (which was horrid) but when the movie was released, it somehow didn’t appear in any programs, especially not in OV, but, weirdly enough, there also were almost no cinemas in our area showing the subbed version. I was really looking forward to it though, so when I saw that the tiny cinema around the corner was showing a dubbed version, I decided to go.

Unfortunately, no one wanted to go see the movie with me – very disappointing, truly. Luckily, no one wanted to see the movie, period, meaning I was the only person in the entire cinema, apart from two very bored employees at the snack counter. So I got to text all the horrible people who had refused to join me and was able to share my reactions to the movie with them as I was watching it. Here are some screenshots of my texts (ignore any spelling mistakes and beware spoilers!):

So, yeah … Guess the people who didn’t go see this, made the right choice. It’s not that I was expecting a cinematic masterwork or anything, just entertaining action, but this had so many elements that made me go „Whyyyyyy?“ because this is basically the exact same as any other second rate agent gone rogue action flick only with women in the main roles and it is boring and entirely unremarkable.

Don’t get me wrong, the cast was amazing, but the story so simplistic and the cinematic realization so uninspired that it really didn’t matter. Instead of interesting heroines and a captivating story, this is a movie that takes the same old action movie elements and just slabs a different label on them, turning it into a „girl power“ in such a superficial way that it only makes the whole thing worse.

I guess, all in all, I am somewhat regretting my choice to go see the movie (the German subtitles did not make it better btw, they were pretty bad) and if you thought about watching The 355, do yourself a favour and grab a different action movie that actually manages to do the women starring in it justice (I loved Gunpowder Milkshake, if you need a recent example).

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